United Rant

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #5 Self Inspection

Dear fans, Like modern men of today, I self-examine myself a lot. Even with my busy lifestyle, I always make sure I take time to look at myself whenever I can. This is not only physically using reflective objects, but as importantly, in the emotional and spiritual sense too. That is why I write a [...]

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #4 Joking Around

Fans, I feel I must personally apologise for our defeat against Chelsea. This was largely because of my absence from the game, the result of a practical joke that went wrong. The morning of the match, I told Patrice that it would be a great idea for me to hide in the luggage compartment of [...]

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #3 Pleasuring

Hello fans, Have you missed me a lot this week? Well I have been on holiday because Sir Alex told me with his hairdryer to “Give it a rest Berba!” during my thank you poem for my beautiful goal last game. So obeying his order, I entered my hot air balloon and jet-setted my way [...]

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #2 Good Lookingness

Hello Fans First, I must be accepting of your praise for my magnificent goal on Saturday. Thank you. I made it really fantastic for you. I had many options in that game but I only chose the best looking one to score. That is because I believe inferior chances are beneath a great club like [...]

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #1 Resting

Hello fans, It’s Dimitar. You know me because I play for your Manchester club in the best position of football attack. Also, I am Bulgaria’s national hero and a sport model of great admiration for everyone. I made this position of success by not only being great, but also by having seven important habits of [...]