United Rant

1. captainhormone
   Moderator

   i once shagged a bird in a graveyard and sucked her tits the day before she went in for an operation as she had breast cancer

   i was like wtf, when she told me

   to think i was the poor slags potential last shag...in a fucking graveyard as well..ffs

   LKHM
   
   Hoofing

   Posted 2 years ago #

2. sukhy5
   Moderator

   I am Rivaldo.

   We are the biggest club in the world. We are Manchester United.

   Posted 2 years ago #

3. han
   Member

   i love monkeys especially mad and red ones

   Posted 2 years ago #

4. Pikey McScum
   Member

   captainhormone said:
   i once shagged a bird in a graveyard and sucked her tits the day before she went in for an operation as she had breast cancer

   i was like wtf, when she told me

   to think i was the poor slags potential last shag...in a fucking graveyard as well..ffs

   ROFLMAO!!!!!!

   "Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field. It's a fact. Right? And it never really works out that way."

   Posted 2 years ago #

5. Robbo
   Member

   Did a runner early mornings well it was on the ground floor from a B & B in Cheetam Hill after spending the night there shagging some lass that I had picked up at the Ritz.

   Posted 2 years ago #

6. Pikey McScum
   Member

   Robbo said:
   shagging some lass

   This confirms that your story is untrue

   Posted 2 years ago #

7. captainhormone
   Moderator

   lol....pisser

   Posted 2 years ago #

8. sheesh
   Member

   I was once giving a speech at school when I was 17 when I had acute stage fright. I forgot half of what I was meant to talk about and stood there like a tit for 30 seconds before quietly sitting down...to complete silence in the audience.

   Posted 2 years ago #

9. danniitronix
   Member

   i baffed a bisexual londe goddess after picking him up on a stag at a gay bar in manchester after he first got off with a bird and i convinced him that he would defo prefer cock (not in such polite terms, mind)

   Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.
   Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice - Steven Jobs

   Posted 2 years ago #

10. danniitronix
    Member

    sheesh said:
    at school

    yeah right

    Posted 2 years ago #

11. captainhormone
    Moderator

    danniitronix said:
    i baffed a bisexual londe goddess after picking her up on a stag at a gay bar in manchester after she first got off with a bird and i convinced her that she would defo prefer cock (not in such polite terms, mind)

    dolph lungdren??

    Posted 2 years ago #

12. danniitronix
    Member

    captainhormone said:
    dolph lungdren??

    now that is not a bad call, properly bollocksed this slag was, threw herself on the best western double bed emptied her hand bag full of weed, pow, jonnies and packs of lube; next minute starts dancing on me cock which refused to get up after 4 pints and 8 barcardi's so she basically mangled little dannii

    slags i love them

    Posted 2 years ago #

13. sheesh
    Member

    danniitronix said:
    yeah right

    Why would I lie?

    Posted 2 years ago #

14. danniitronix
    Member

    sheesh said:
    Why would I lie?

    to try and impress us that you been to school when all you done is bully people at asda - that's why you made Don fuck off and who else was it ??

    Posted 2 years ago #

15. Robbo
    Member

    danniitronix said:
    now that is not a bad call, properly bollocksed this slag was, threw herself on the best western double bed emptied her hand bag full of weed, pow, jonnies and packs of lube; next minute starts dancing on me cock which refused to get up after 4 pints and 8 barcardi's so she basically mangled little dannii

    slags i love them

    Stop trying to Bullshit us Danni, you were on Canal Street and its was a Blond Ladyboy.

    Posted 2 years ago #

16. captainhormone
    Moderator

    sheesh i believe you mate..and you too danni

    anyway, once i was in munich on the piss and i had a wank in a sex shop in a booth watching some porn, and fired my load in the video case as i didnt have any tissues

    Posted 2 years ago #

17. danniitronix
    Member

    i first got chatting to her and her mate with the rest of the twatty stag mates at a bar which was on a row of bars near a canal / water area - it was around 2003, had an upstairs and a downstairs. we then went to another bar but the stag got chuked out for throwing beer and the record decks and DJ went all cunto on him. took us ages to get into the gay bar - was fookin' rammed too; right bunch of cunts pinching my arse an everything. i could smell the minge though and after a couple of failed attacks and being off me head chatted up said bi who was chatting to said lesbo and proceeded to get off with both of them - no shit, most rock and roll moment of my life ever and closest I got to a threesome - sort of a three way snog.

    Posted 2 years ago #

18. danniitronix
    Member

    I've killed three toilets by the sheer weight and ferocity of my mega turds

    - first kill was at law college
    - second kill was a hotel in NYC
    - third kill was amsterdam airport

    love the walk of fame, knowing forewell what the next guy will face

    Posted 2 years ago #

19. captainhormone
    Moderator

    danni...i know that bar...been in there on the piss with my lady

    Posted 2 years ago #

20. danniitronix
    Member

    sofas and stuff upstairs on some sort of mezzanine floor thing with wooden floors - in 2003 it was supposed to be the hip place as the whole row of bars was new.

    lasting thought was that manchester has great fanny - some seriously great looking birds

    Posted 2 years ago #

21. Robbo
    Member

    danniitronix said:
    at a bar which was on a row of bars near a canal / water area

    See I told you Canal Street

    Posted 2 years ago #

22. danniitronix
    Member

    Robbo said:
    See I told you Canal Street

    awesome birds there mind

    Posted 2 years ago #

23. captainhormone
    Moderator

    deffo canal street danni..you turd burgling cunt you

    Posted 2 years ago #

24. danniitronix
    Member

    would love to go there again and generall cunt around

    Posted 2 years ago #

25. captainhormone
    Moderator

    we'll do a rant piss up in mancheser next tme...sheesh and red dread, fatty, alf etc will no doubt come

    Posted 2 years ago #

26. Anonymous
    Unregistered

    Took err ...I mean pulled a couple of sisters from a bar in Thailand, after shagging the first I got a blow job from her sister or was it her brother

    Posted 2 years ago #

27. captainhormone
    Moderator

    for the purpose of this forum, it was deffo a bloke

    Posted 2 years ago #

28. Anonymous
    Unregistered

    captainhormone said:
    for the purpose of this forum, it was deffo a bloke

    

    Posted 2 years ago #

29. captainhormone
    Moderator

    you'll get USED to it

    Posted 2 years ago #

30. Anonymous
    Unregistered

    thought it was a bit big when she slipped me the finger up the dirt track!

    Posted 2 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply »

You must log in to post.