Wasters FC

Kieron Dyer’s imminent transfer to Queens Park Rangers suggests a question: has there ever been a player who has taken so much out of football but given so little back? Dyer, reportedly earning £83,000 per week at West Ham United, has played just 30 games in four years at Upton Park. He cost the Londoners an extra £500,000 per year in ‘image rights’ on top of a £6 million transfer fee.

In this spirit Rant has put together Wasters FC. An outfit not of the worst players in the history of football but those who took so much, with so little in return.

Contributions from: @brannigan84 @Fino76 @Jebbster1975 and many others.

Wasters FC – Owner: Malcom Glazer. Chair: Sepp Blatter. Manager: Brian Little

Stuart Taylor, Goalkeeper: Taylor, the standard-bearer for reserve goalkeeping – has played just 69 league games since turning pro in 1997.

Marco Boogers, right-back: so depressed after being sent off for West Ham against Manchester United that Boogers disappeared for two days leading to the now infamous Sun headline: “Barmy Boogers Living In A Caravan”.

Jonathan Woodgate, centre-back: perennially injured, cumulative transfer fees of £30 million, wages in excess of £80,000, and just 120 games in the past eight years.

Winston Bogaarde, centre-back: sat out a four-year, £40,000 per week, contract at Chelsea, playing just nine games in the process.

Asier del Horno, left-back: £7 million transfer fee brought him to Chelsea, 25 failed games later and the Spaniard was sent home. Last seen at lowly Levante.

Andy van der Meyde, right-wing: sent off on début and that was about as good as it got for the Dutchman, who played just 20 games in four years for Everton.

Tomas Brolin, centre midfield: retired aged just 29 having last played for Hudiksvalls but it is the three horrendous years at Leeds United that the podgy Swede is best ‘remembered’ for in England.

Kieron Dyer, centre midfield (c): see above!

Paolo Future, left-wing: played 60 games for seven clubs after leaving Atletico Madrid in 1993, including a disastrous spell at West Ham in 1997. Nine games, no goals and few fans.

Freddy Adu, striker: better than George Best, quicker than Pélé, more skillfull than Diego Maradona… older than Nelson Mandela … and last seen playing for Çaykur Rizespor in the Turkish second division. Still made millions from Nike sponsorship.

Denílson de Oliveira Araújo, striker: once the world’s most expensive player. Last three clubs: AO Kavala, Xi Măng Hải Phòng, Itumbiara. No Rant hadn’t heard of them either.

Bench: Chris Kirkland, Alfonso Alves, Harry Kewell, Steve Marlet, Jody Morris, Franny Jeffers, Hugo Viana, Sergei Rebrov, Bosko Balaban …. and so many more!

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Comments

  1. Jamois says

    I think Brian Little for manager a little harsh and feel there must be more suitable candidates. Stuart Houston comes to mind (as a QPR fan). Or perhaps Trevor Francis, Graham Taylor, Graham Souness, Christian Gross, etc.

  2. Curtis says

    Owen Hargreaves for sure.

    Adu is still only 22, don’t forget that. While he has been a waste thus far, he isn’t in the same league as some of these other folks.

  3. captainhormonecaptainhormone says

    Commenter said:
    Owen Hargreaves for sure.

    Adu is still only 62, don’t forget that. While he has been a waste thus far, he isn’t in the same league as some of these other folks.

  4. captainhormonecaptainhormone says

    Commenter said:
    Owen Hargreaves for sure.
    Adu is still only 62, don’t forget that. While he has been a waste thus far, he isn’t in the same league as some of these other folks.

    LKHF

    faffing

    • Curtis says

      He just seems old because he was made to be such a big deal when he was so young. He was on the covers of magazines at 13!

      He has been a waste, undeniable, but he is definitely not 62. Just been around awhile.

  5. squigs says

    Manucho and Bebe shouldn’t be far off this list,

    In fairness I think Woodgate will be a brilliant signing for Stoke if they can keep him fit and Van Der Meyde and Brolin were established internationals.

  6. andrew says

    Harsh putting Bebe in there with that company above….he put in, scored a couple of goals and I think tried to take the opportunity of a lifetime.

  7. Alfonso BedoyaAlfonso Bedoya says

    I like this… “He cost the Londoners an extra £500,000 per year in ‘image rights’ on top of a £6 million transfer fee.”
    What image was that, then?
    This maybe???

    That’s a face that could go on a “just say no to sniffing glue” poster.

    “Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don’t need badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabrón and ching’ tu madre! Come out from that shit-hole of yours. I have to speak to you.”

  8. SpudiatorSpudiator says

    Steve McClaren? That’s ridiculous, he may have been a flop as England manager, a role he was never suited to anyway, but he did pretty well with Middlesbrough and Twente. If we’re talking hopeless managers, I’d have said Chris Hutchings myself, he twice succeeded Paul Jewell (at Bradford and then Wigan, I’m not counting his time at Derby because he was only a stand-in then and only managed one game anyway) and both times ended up sacked after less than 6 months, got sacked as Walsall manager too (albeit after 2 years that time).

    Also, to those mentioning Bebe, that’s just idiotic, he’s a young kid just starting his career and has barely been on the scene at United 5 minutes. This is presumably the same morons who wrote Patrice Evra off as one of United’s worst ever signings after only 6 months at the club (damn, I wish I’d made a note of who actually said that for future reference).

  9. andrew says

    Add Scholes to that group – never tried in interviews, never helped flog Nike merch. Selfish cunt.

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