Every year United Rant uses a highly complex mathematical formula developed by the boffins working on the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, Switzerland, to predict the future. Drawing on the same supercomputing power that is looking at the very beginnings of the universe, Rant forecasts the season’s winners and losers with uncanny accuracy. Well, either that or we take a wild stab in the dark. You decide!
In truth, this year hasn’t been the finest for Rant’s prediction engine, with our pre-season forecasts largely turning our wrong – just 5/29 events in fact. After all, we believed Manchester United would take the Premier League title and, worse still, Newcastle United would face relegation! In the past two years we have predicted 9/29 and 13/29 correct events.
On the other hand we did pick Robin van Persie as our player of the year, Atletico de Madrid as Europa League winners and Neil Warnock to be sacked.
How did you do?
United’s Season
- Premier League: winners SECOND
- Champions League: semi-final GROUP STAGE
- Carling Cup: semi-final QUARTER FINAL
- FA Cup: fifth round FOURTH ROUND
- Player of the Year: Nemanja Vidic ANTONIO VALENCIA
- Reserve Player of the Year: Paul Pogba MICHAEL KEANE
Premier League Top Ten
- Manchester United MANCHESTER CITY
- Manchester City MANCHESTER UNITED
- Chelsea ARSENAL
- Arsenal TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR
- Liverpool NEWCASTLE UNITED
- Tottenham Hotspur CHELSEA
- Everton EVERTON
- Aston Villa LIVERPOOL
- Sunderland FULHAM
- Fulham WEST BROMWICH ALBION
Relegated
- Swansea BOLTON WANDERERS
- Norwich BLACKBURN ROVERS
- Newcastle WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS
Champions League
- Winners: Barcelona CHELSEA/BAYERN MUNICH
- Runners-up: Real Madrid CHELSEA/BAYERN MUNICH
Europa League
- Atletico de Madrid ATLETICO DE MADRID
FA Cup
- Liverpool CHELSEA
Carling Cup
- Manchester City LIVERPOOL
- Spain SPAIN
Player of the Season
- Robin van Persie, Arsenal ROBIN VAN PERSIE
Young Player of the Season
- Javier Hernandez, Manchester United KYLE WALKER
Sack Race
- Steve Keen, Blackburn Rovers INCORRECT
- Alan Pardew, Newcastle United INCORRECT
- Neil Warnock, Queens Park Rangers SACKED
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Some of our predictions were way out.
I picked Romelu Lukaku for Young Player of the Year FFS.
How did van Persie win player of the year playing for a team that finished third and won nothing? Wenger must have slept with the judges! You can add Kenny Dalglish to your sacked list. That was good news. You can add Liverpool to your relegated list for next season. I would be the first to celebrate that one!
The comments section on here has been taken over by nutters. Fucking Carrick haters on the last post deserve a punch in the face. You pricks know nothing about football. Anyway, I think we would win the league all season but when taking everything into account, please I’m proud of our season in the league. Those fucking billionaires weren’t even a point better than our team of men in their late thirties, new baby of a keeper who didn’t know how to say hello in English, aids infested midfield engine, bunch of kids up front and in defence and the best defender in the world missing the whole season. Take away just one of those fuckeries and we would have won it by at least 5 points. For those small minded fucks to celebrate that is embarrassing. We are only going to have an exponentially stringer season this time round. Treble time.
Congratulations on your impressive selection of Everton to finish 7th!
Seriously though, the RVP and Athletico picks look pretty prescient. Just a shame that the rest of the list makes it look like you threw darts at bits of paper and hoped for the best!
Paul – there were a few near misses in there, to be fair
FFS Herbie… you are one strange character.
Ed, your predictions will look considerably better if you change the picture.