Summer of upheaval

Alex Ferguson and Mike Phelan

There is peace even in the storm ― Vincent van Gogh, 3 November 1876

There are times, when chaos abounds, mused Rudyard Kipling in sport’s most over-quoted poem; that those with clarity of thought will come to the forefront at times of crisis. And while Manchester United is in no crisis, it is not yet clear whether the club will emerge from a significant period of change damaged, or otherwise.

Let there be no doubt: United faces the most challenging summer in more than 20 years, with Sir Alex Ferguson’s departure just one of several major changes at the club as the season ends. While Ferguson’s retirement brings to an end more than 26 years of the Scot’s management at Old Trafford, he is also followed out of the door by long-time chief executive and leading ally David Gill, 16 years a United employee. In their wake the pair leaves a raft of changes in both coaching and executive management that will test the club’s contingency planning to the fullest.

Indeed, by the time Ferguson officially departs his job on 1 July four executive positions and a handful of coaching roles will have changed hands at Old Trafford, threatening short-term disruption that could undermine United’s planning for the 2012/13 campaign.

The question, of course: through the whirlwind of change, who will emerge with clear-sight to minimise the impact of transformation?

In Ferguson’s stead comes Everton manager David Moyes, to mixed reception, while youthful Ed Woodward is promoted to executive vice-chairman as Gill’s effective replacement. But the cascade of change runs deep, with Richard Arnold and Michael Bolingbroke also changing roles in the executive team.

Moyes has wasted little time instigating widely rumoured plans to shake up United’s senior coaching staff, leading to the departures of Ferguson’s assistant Mike Phelan, and respected goalkeeping coach Eric Steele.

There may be more bloodletting too. Reserve team manager Warren Joyce’s quip at the club annual awards ceremony last week that he is as yet unaware of his employment position tells a key story. Nervousness abounds ahead of Moyes official start on 1 July; six weeks shy of the new campaign.

After all, a new man at the top certainly spells change. Moyes may now seek to bring in his number two at Everton, Steve Round, while rumours abound that Phil Neville will join Old Trafford’s coaching team. Paul Scholes has not formally been offered a position in the backroom, although Sir Alex is a leading proponent of the 38-year-old’s coaching ability.

Round is widely respected in the football community, although the same is not quite true of Chris Woods, Everton’s goalkeeping coach, who may also join United. The outstanding job Steele has performed working with David de Gea over the past two years has seemingly been forgotten before the ink has dried on Moyes’ new contract.

Nor is it yet clear whether Ferguson’s departure will prompt a rethink from Rene Meulenstein; the Scot’s principle lieutenant alongside Phelan. Meulenstein’s short managerial spell in charge of Brondby six years ago may represent unfinished business to the Dutchman, especially if Moyes reduces the coach’s scope.

Meanwhile, Phelan may finally take a crack at management – previous assistants including Brian Kidd, Steve McClaren and Carlos Quieroz have found the yearning to lead too great a draw.

It is at least now clear that Moyes is not prepared to work within a system already created, principally of Ferguson’s design. The younger Scot is a man with his own ideas.  The former Everton manager is known to be a proponent of meticulously detailed planning, sports-science and boot-camp style fitness. There will certainly be a change of emphasis at Carrington next season.

Similarly, Moyes’ thinking on the style and substance of his team may prompt change in the playing staff. Top of the list is Wayne Rooney’s future, with the 27-year-old having asked Ferguson for a transfer earlier this spring. While the noise coming out of Old Trafford is that the new man will work with his former protégé, behind the scenes the club has sought an exit for the £27 million striker. A bid for long-standing target Robert Lewandowski hinges on Rooney’s departure, or otherwise.

Meanwhile, there have already been inevitable press reports linking United to an imminent bid for Everton’s combative forward Marouane Fellaini. The gossip may hold some substance, although it is surely unthinkable that Moyes will deploy the Belgian in the forward role he occupied at Goodison Park for most of last season.

Over in the boardroom executive changes are only likely to accelerate United’s hugely aggressive global search for cash. Gill’s departure, which is certainly linked to Ferguson’s – an announcement coming just days after the Scot told his ally last February of firm plans to retire  – means significant promotion for three of the Glazer family’s key commercial team.

Woodward, as the Glazer family’s premier executor of United’s perpetual remit to create new revenue sources, will offer continuity of a sort. Although any temperance to rampant commercialism that Gill brought to the party over the past seven years – an argument often put forward in the 57-year-old’s defence – will now surely evaporate.

The club will still benefit from Gill and Ferguson’s part-time loyalty though. Debt, it seems, wasn’t Gill’s road to ruin – just a ticket into UEFA’s inner circle and a lucrative non-executive position. Meanwhile, Ferguson will reportedly be paid £100,000 a day to for up to 20 commercial appearances a season with United’s principle sponsors.

Yet, amid all the change on and off the pitch weight of responsibility for any post-Ferguson failure will fall squarely on Moyes’ broad shoulders, whether that judgement is fair or otherwise.  Which is why there was some surprise at the sharp decision to sack two of Ferguson’s senior coaches, with perhaps more to come.

Amid a summer storm continuity may be Moyes’ best ally.  The question now is whether Moyes’ head is clear enough to steer the club to the peace of safer ground.

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  • http://Aol Revers

    It’s going to be a difficult 18 mts. There again we had a difficult 18 yrs Keep the faith…….

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    From what I’ve read, Moyes is a maniac when it comes to fitness training… so if Rooney does stay, Moyes will get him back into shape… even Anderson might have to run a bit.

  • Violent Banana

    And to top off this summer of upheaval, Rant has changed it’s look. I can’t cope with all this change.

  • Dean Jackson

    Great article Ed. I couldn’t agree more with your take on Steele… I was dumbfounded when I read of his departure. I’m not familiar with Goalkeeping Coaches… are there any better?

  • captainhormone

    We need some “Steele” in our midfield

    Ffs…coat, taxi etc

  • Lucas

    Ed, Too much change in too little time doesn’t help one bit! And, that includes the look of United Rant as well!

  • Bobs-Ur-Uncle

    Two questions I have are:

    1) Will Moyes grow into the role quickly and find 5th and 6th gears he needs to win big trophies with Utd, and
    2) As the debt is reduced will we get to reinvest for serious talent

    Without a firm yes to both we are looking at Arsenal-esque results for a while I think.

    PS Rant cast format looks great!

  • Minus The Bear

    Times are saying Meulensteen is off as well as he was only offered a role to look after the youth set up…

  • Coach Herbie

    Fitness is key! And yes, Meulensteen has resigned also.
    Most now are wondering why we choose a Scottish manager to take us forward.
    If Moyes dwells on fitness, we will be in good shape. I believe he is a good motivator and that is key also. He’s got more money than he had at Everton so I have faith that he will solve our midfield problems.

  • http://www.visual-intrusion.com Robbo

    Commenter said:
    Fitness is key! And yes, Meulensteen has resigned also.
    Most now are wondering why we choose a Scottish manager to take us forward.
    If Moyes dwells on fitness, we will be in good shape. I believe he is a good motivator and that is key also. He’s got more money than he had at Everton so I have faith that he will solve our midfield problems.

    Shouldnt you be at the Dole Office Mikey

  • sidney

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/may/27/phil-neville-everton-moyes-manchester-united

    David Moyes, the incoming Manchester United manager, is set to appoint Phil Neville, Steve Round, Chris Woods and Robbie Cooke to his backroom staff, with all four taken from his former club Everton.

    Phil fucking Neville replacing the genius that is Meulensteen as first team coach. The cunt has no experience.

    • Bobs-Ur-Uncle

      can’t say i disagree with that! Dutch tactical genius to long ball lumper?

  • sidney

    Whenever Phil Neville talks about football all he does is talk in cliches and rhetoric
    About Fellaini he said: He’s a big unit and his pace & power means he’s virtually unplayable at times because he’s such a big unit, big old boy, unit, big, virtually unplayable great on a tuesday night in stoke
    I don’t think he actually knows anything about football, or life

  • sidney

    “Meulensteen rejoined Manchester United as technical skills development coach”

    Can Phil Neville even spell technical skills development coach

    I’m laying in to the cunt for no real reason here tbf

  • marlon

    Moyes will probably do a lot more coaching than Fergie did, so Neville’s role will be smaller than Meulensteen’s was.

    • Bobs-Ur-Uncle

      yeah but Moyes will have a lot more on his plate managing Utd than Everton

  • marlon
  • captainhormone

    United put so much into coerver with rene, him not being on board may set us back

  • baloo

    marlon said:
    Moyes will probably do a lot more coaching than Fergie did, so Neville’s role will be smaller than Meulensteen’s was.

    I think that’s totally the reason – Moyes will be taking much of the coaching sessions by all accounts and so it’s not really Phil Nev replacing Rene, it’s DM.
    Rene’s been brilliant but time for a change. He’s not going to want to stay around for an effective demotion, even though he is obviously well respected at the club and they want him to stay.

    captainhormone said:
    United put so much into coerver with rene, him not being on board may set us back

    It’s possible, but to be fair I think that because Moyes is such a hands on coach he couldn’t really do anything else but take a step back himself, and that would weaken his position. He’s definitely making it his own, which I suppose can only be seen as countering the problem of him being seen as a ‘lame duck’ manager. Everyone knows that he’s his own man now – no favours, previous deeds don’t mean jack etc etc.
    I really don’t get the Eric Steele decision though – that seems wrong to me as the goalkeepers work in a more self-contained way. Don’t know – just doesn’t seem right somehow.

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Steele is getting a lot of credit for sorting out De Gea, but to be fair, De Gea was a class keeper in the first place, it was just his adaptation to the English game, and his approach to crosses and corners that were the problem… I’ve no problem with Steele getting some credit for that… but let’s be clear, he’s not done so well with some of the other supposed, top young keepers to come and go at United… especially Foster, who was supposed to be the business.

    Meanwhile Howard has become an excellent keeper for Everton…

    I’m not worried about losing Steele, any more than I am about losing Phelan… they’re all part of “Fergies old cronies”… out!… and let’s start from a clean slate.

  • baloo

    Fair point, although Howard was an excellent keeper for us too, just not quite good enough. I don’t think he’s improved that much at Everton (apart from gotten older, which helps with keepers anyway).

    And Foster is exactly as good in terms of his skill level now as he has always been, he just couldn’t handle (and is on record as admitting as much) the pressure that came with playing for United.

    Having said that, I agree with you that the clean slate idea works and is the best way to go about things.

  • baggio365

    he should have kept rene and eric around for at least another year. bring half his team in this year and the rest next year. at least this will allow him time to assess the quality of the coaches already present at united, whom i’m sure would have been better than those at everton. I can understand bringing in your own assistant manager, but getting rid of rene and eric just seems silly.

    what next? is he going to cull the old guard as well. tear up giggsys contract. let fletcher and rio go as well? thats the way to go if he wants to get rid of fergie’s influence

  • uncleknobheadffs

    if this cunt mulenstein has had as much influence as phelan hes as much to blame for the hoofball shite

    and with that said why is hoofball cunt moyes getting rid of either of em

  • uncleknobheadffs

    sidney said:
    Whenever Phil Neville talks about football all he does is talk in cliches and rhetoric

    About Fellaini he said: He’s a big unit and his pace & power means he’s virtually unplayable at times because he’s such a big unit, big old boy, unit, big, virtually unplayable great on a tuesday night in stoke

    I don’t think he actually knows anything about football, or life

    tbf thats probably because motd are trying to sign him up

  • RobDiablo

    baggio365 said:
    he should have kept rene and eric around for at least another year. bring half his team in this year and the rest next year…

    …what next? is he going to cull the old guard as well. tear up giggsys contract. let fletcher and rio go as well…

    I disagree. I believe that Moyes needs to make the job his own as quickly and completely as possible, and I do hope that he is as ruthless with the squad as he has been with the coaching staff.

    Since Giggs’ real value is in setting an example of training ground and on-the-field professionalism for the youngsters, I don’t believe that having him move into a coaching role would diminish the current squad all that much. His unmatched collection of gongs would also serve as a reminder to everyone at United of what heights it is possible to reach. We have already seen that Rio has been given another season at United, but I say, “yes”, let Fletcher go; he will probably never come back, anyway, and he will certainly never be United quality if he does. Now, if Moyes would just leave Fellaini at Everton—there’s a reason why neither City nor Cheatski are trying to beat us to his signature, sell Nani and Anderson, and use the proceeds to buy at least two, quality CMs, I’d be just about as happy with the squad as it is possible to be.

  • sheesh

    So Anderson won’t be the only Mr Round at Carrington next season.

  • bman

    I think it’s pretty standard for a new manager to bring in his own team, no? It sounds like Moyes will be more hands-on with the first team’s training than Fergie was these last few years — seems like that’s his style as well as him being a younger man than SAF.

  • sidney

    Rene was perfect because he was a technical coach, he was liked, respected and spoke different languages

    Now we have Moyes and Phil. They’d better be good. Do they speak any other languages?

    And are we going to have anyone doing technical skills because otherwise the foreign players will get bored

  • captainhormone

    The technical aspect is vastly important..it’s helped pro long giggs career and rene is a huge reason for that..don’t underestimate that…

    When we had Carlos as number two and rene was technical we were better than now and that was why we matched the best in Europe over a 5 year period

  • sheesh

    I don’t mean this in a racist way but I’d feel a lot more comfortable if we had a German, Spaniard, Portugese or Dutchman as part of our backroom staff.

    A backroom team full of Englishmen doesn’t inspire me with a lot of confidence.

    Hard to put my finger on why.

  • Pikey McScum

    It’s because the English are cunts Sheesh

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Yeah, what we need is some proper Irish quality… urmm… any suggestions McShite?

  • sidney

    sheesh said:
    I don’t mean this in a racist way but I’d feel a lot more comfortable if we had a German, Spaniard, Portugese or Dutchman as part of our backroom staff.
    A backroom team full of Englishmen doesn’t inspire me with a lot of confidence.
    Hard to put my finger on why.

    Speaking foreign languages, even a just bit, is essential
    Foreign players come here having spent most of their training sessions with a football, then they arrive in England and it’s all gym work and fitness. United is obviously different to the shite because we have skillful players. But Everton were all about running round fields twice a day. I hope Moyes understand he’s got skillful players like Nani who needs to spend time with a ball doing fun things, not lifting weights.

  • sheesh

    sidney said:
    Speaking foreign languages, even a just bit, is essential
    Foreign players come here having spent most of their training sessions with a football, then they arrive in England and it’s all gym work and fitness. United is obviously different to the shite because we have skillful players. But Everton were all about running round fields twice a day. I hope Moyes understand he’s got skillful players like Nani who needs to spend time with a ball doing fun things, not lifting weights.

    Yeah, these foreign coaches tend to be bi-lingual or multi-lingual which always helps.
    I also think they’re more likely to be a bit more technically savvy than British coaches. I could be worrying over nothing. Brendan Rodgers was a decent coach and worked under Mourinho. It’s a world away, however, from coaching the likes of Naismith to working with the likes of Van Persie, Rooney, etc.
    The likes of Anderson and Rooney could probably use a good workout, to be fair.

  • sidney

    Aye, you’ve got quite a few managers now who have worked under Mourinho or are influenced by his methods, and I think there’s a more ‘textbook’ approach to football now rather than sheepskin coats and cliches. Redknapp was once lauded and seen as a proper football man, now nobody rates him and his style is mocked.
    Neville being an idiot must just be there to make the players laugh, put the cones out, chat with Giggs etc. The tactics and technical stuff must come from elsewhere. Fergie spoke of how mixing it up in training is crucial in keeping everybody happy – especially the foreign lads who want to do more ball stuff, apparently (because it’s what they’re used to growing up abroad). He said that was Queiroz’s influence; mixed training sessions. I’d imagine that carried on under Rene. I know Nani had his own customized drills. If we want to keep and attract other skillful players then that has to continue. Otherwise we’ll just be hoofing it.

  • bman

    FFS people, it’s not like the club just hired Redknapp or Allardyce, I’m pretty sure the coaching staff will have them doing more than jogging around the pitch. Anyway, people have been saying for years that Moyes is the most tactically canny manager in the PL, I think you’ll find the situation will actually be a step up from the past few seasons. Given that he was able to make someone like Gibson into a useful player, I’m excited to see what he’ll do with our good players.

  • Anantax

    Not knowing any of the coaches in detail, I am all for the cull…
    Nothing personal, and not saying anything re competence. Its just that its time for new ideas….
    On top of that DM will need people he can absolutely trust once the pressure cooker that is United starts in earnest in August…
    Perhaps most importantly, he needs people who buy into HIS vision of what Utd should be…not Fergie’s. Anyone who doesnt needs to be kicked out
    Like itnor not, its DM’s team now. We sink or swim with him…

  • sidney

    bman said:
    FFS people, it’s not like the club just hired Redknapp or Allardyce, I’m pretty sure the coaching staff will have them doing more than jogging around the pitch. Anyway, people have been saying for years that Moyes is the most tactically canny manager in the PL, I think you’ll find the situation will actually be a step up from the past few seasons. Given that he was able to make someone like Gibson into a useful player, I’m excited to see what he’ll do with our good players.

    Tbf though Phil Neville ranks lower than Allardyce and Redknapp

    I think we have our first person to hate, people should be getting on it

  • baggio365

    i dont get the anti-neville attitude. he was a solid united player. played his heart out for the club. moved on when he wasnt getting enough opportunites, with fergie’s blessing, …and even scored an own goal for everton to help us win another title

  • uncleknobheadffs

    bman said:
    FFS people, it’s not like the club just hired Redknapp or Allardyce,

    not far off tbf

    LKHM

    hoofing

  • uncleknobheadffs

    sidney said:
    Tbf though Phil Neville ranks lower than Allardyce and Redknapp
    I think we have our first person to hate, people should be getting on it

    tbf id be more hateful if it was gary than phil
    phil was atleast considered the talented one when they came through even if he turned out to be a national laughing stock
    gary was the hard working loudmouth gobby cunt one with minimal talent, what could he teach other than work hard and moan about liverpool

    LKHM

    hoofing

  • baloo

    *Mute*

  • uncleknobheadffs

    sheesh said:
    I don’t mean this in a racist way but I’d feel a lot more comfortable if we had a German, Spaniard, Portugese or Dutchman as part of our backroom staff.

    A backroom team full of Englishmen doesn’t inspire me with a lot of confidence.

    Hard to put my finger on why.

    tbf id have no problem if moyles give big jock drunk dunc a place on the staff tbf

  • sidney

    baggio365 said:
    i dont get the anti-neville attitude. he was a solid united player. played his heart out for the club. moved on when he wasnt getting enough opportunites, with fergie’s blessing, …and even scored an own goal for everton to help us win another title

    It’s not anti Neville, it’s anti Neville being given an important job that he has no experience in

  • baloo

    I’m not sure it will even be Neville tbh, more likely Jimmy Lumsden who he currently works with. The only reason I can see that he’d think of taking Neville is because of his previous United associations, but I’m not sure he’ll need that as he’ll have Giggs, Scholes, Nicky Butt, Rio Ferdinand all around the place.

    Did anyone else see the picture of Moyes, Ferguson and Giggs all leaving a hotel together about 3 days after the announcement? I think Giggs is going to have a massive part to play in this latest setup.

  • bman

    Moyes is very hands-on with first team tactics and coaching, much more than Fergie was in the last few years. Neville is a guy who works for him but knows United, seems like a sensible choice as a lieutenant, he’s not the new Quiroz. That’s the advantage of getting in a manager who’s not in his 70s, he’ll do the actual managing.
    Besides, Phil Neville is not a thicko and he’s been a United and Everton player his whole career. He obviously knows more about playing good football than the rest of us combined. I don’t see why he’s a worse choice than Scholes or Giggs — it’s not like the ex-player’s personal skills are a good benchmark for how well they can coach others.

  • baloo

    The thing is though, why are we assuming that Neville is going to be assistant manager when Steve Round is widely tipped as coming who is his CURRENT assistant manager? If Round comes, it’s not an assistant manager he needs, its someone to help with the coaching (currently Lumsden).

    I could be wrong, but I don’t see Neville being brought in as either the assistant manager OR his coach.

  • sidney

    I’m not assuming that baloo. Right, the Guardian said Neville was likely to take up the role of first team coach – the job Rene used to do. Not assistant manager.
    So you’ll have a manager Moyes, assistant manager Round, then first team coach Neville. Moyes takes training sessions unlike Fergie so the first team coach role won’t be as important. But it’s still a crucial role that someone with experience should be doing IMO
    If Scholes liked talking he could have done it, would have brought a more technical approach like Rene

  • baloo

    But this is what I mean – I’ve also read numerous reports that state Lumsden is coming as his coaching assistant, as he is at Everton.

    I just think there are a load of assumptions born of very little evidence is all. Christ, when did we start believing in what the papers said about football in general and United in particular.

  • bman

    sidney said:

    If Scholes liked talking he could have done it, would have brought a more technical approach like Rene

    Yeah but I don’t agree to that logic. You’re basically saying that because Scholes was a more skillful player than PNev he’d be a better technical/tactical/whatever coach. But if the quality of coaches/managers was in direct relation to their skills as players, people like Mourinho, Fergie etc. wouldn’t have gotten a look-in. If anything I think PNev might be a better trainer because he came through the same system that coached players like Scholes, Ronaldo, Rooney etc., so he knows the coaching techniques but was also to look at those players’ development from the outside and has a better sense of comparison and perspective. Players like Scholes and Ronaldo might have difficulty understanding why less naturally gifted players don’t just “get it”.

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Most often, the players that make the best coaches/managers are the ones with the least amount of natural talent… the ones, who the game didn’t come very easily to… they had to work harder than the rest to make it, and paid very close attention to what their coaches were trying to teach them… they learned early the values of hard work, dedication, professionalism, concentration, team work, spirit… all the things that make a great team player, captain…

  • Coach Herbie

    Moyes is looking to win the EPL in his first season as manager.
    He also said he wants the Champions league trophy so he is not going to be fooling around. Its all business with Moyes. He is now targeting midfielders, I’m talking about world class midfielders and he has the money to do just that!

  • captainhormone

    Oh do fuck off herbie you loathsome bellend

  • Pikey McScum

    captainhormone said:
    Oh do fuck off herbie you loathsome bellend

    ROFL

    He’s a lying twat – sure didn’t he get the boot a few days ago? Off he goes into the sunset, with his tail tucked into his wee shorts…

  • baloo

    I actually want to meet him – seriously. I want to know how it all translates into reality. What is he like – has he just got online access in the care home? Does he hold any kind of position in ‘normal’ society. Does care in the community really work!?

    I’m actually fascinated (after getting over the initial irritation of reading his posts)

  • Pikey McScum

    baloo said:
    I actually want to meet him – seriously. I want to know how it all translates into reality. What is he like – has he just got online access in the care home? Does he hold any kind of position in ‘normal’ society. Does care in the community really work!?
    I’m actually fascinated (after getting over the initial irritation of reading his posts)

    Excellent questions; he’s proof (like when Chris_1661 used to be around – RIP) that any fecking retard can get online.
    I think he’ll start suggesting he’s a football agent next…

    “Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it’s a better cow than the one you’ve got in your own field. It’s a fact. Right? And it never really works out that way.”

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Pikey McScum said:
    Excellent questions; he’s proof (like when Chris_1661 used to be around – RIP) that any fecking retard can get online.

    I think he’ll start suggesting he’s a football agent next…

    That’s the second time you’ve done that… quit talking shit!

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    That’s the second time you’ve done that… quit talking shit!

    Eh?

  • uncleknobheadffs

    Commenter said:
    Moyes is looking to win the EPL in his first season as manager.
    He also said he wants the Champions league trophy so he is not going to be fooling around. Its all business with Moyes. He is now targeting midfielders, I’m talking about world class midfielders and he has the money to do just that!

    whats next for you mike

    and are we still getting garay

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Pikey McScum said:
    Eh?

    I joined Rant before you… and Chris was before my time…

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    I joined Rant before you… and Chris was before my time…

    Well that’s odd, because I distinctly remember some of Chris’ posts – you do remember I used to go by a different username for a long time before the McScum moniker was placed upon me?
    Unless Chris’ old posts were dragged out of the archives for some reason…
    EDIT: And your penis must be very small if efforts to get one over me are that important to you

    “Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it’s a better cow than the one you’ve got in your own field. It’s a fact. Right? And it never really works out that way.”

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    You lying shit… I made this exact point the last time you mentioned Chris as if you were around when he was… and you laughed it off, and owned up to being caught out!

    “Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don’t need badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabrón and ching’ tu madre! Come out from that shit-hole of yours. I have to speak to you.”

  • Pikey McScum

    LOL – any time is a good time to post that pic!
    If you say so mate, but like I say – his madness must have been reposted back when I joined cos it was all over the forum then.
    But why is it so important to you? Who cares if you were here first or not, if I laughed it off before etc? Does your autistic-like ability to retain faults on Ranters’ posts give you that much satisfaction, or again are you trying to compensate for having a dick the same size as a baby? It belittles you Alf, you’re better than that – or at least, you used to be.

    “Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it’s a better cow than the one you’ve got in your own field. It’s a fact. Right? And it never really works out that way.”

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Pfft… listen to you… I’m not the sad cunt pretending to have been here longer than I actually have… and I only know this, because we’ve been through this same shit before… last time it was sort of funny, and at the time, you thought so as well… now it’s just getting a bit weird… but I tell you what… if you do it again, I won’t mention it… OK? that way, you can have your little… whatever it is.

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    Pfft… listen to you… I’m not the sad cunt pretending to have been here longer than I actually have… and I only know this, because we’ve been through this same shit before… last time it was sort of funny, and at the time, you thought so as well… now it’s just getting a bit weird… but I tell you what… if you do it again, I won’t mention it… OK? that way, you can have your little… whatever it is.

    Get over yourself you nasty old bollocks – I’m sorry I haven’t got the memory retention you have, but you’re the one making the big deal about it. I recall seeing the bloke’s posts – again I don’t know if they were repeated by others or old threads were dug up from the archives but what does it matter? I have no issues about being here the longest whereas you clearly have. If that kind of superiority gets you off, then fine – it’s fucked up and sad, but as it means so much to you…

  • captainhormone

    Ffs..I was here before both of you and have 3 ruined forums to show for my contribution

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Pikey McScum said:
    Get over yourself you nasty old bollocks – I’m sorry I haven’t got the memory retention you have, but you’re the one making the big deal about it. I recall seeing the bloke’s posts – again I don’t know if they were repeated by others or old threads were dug up from the archives but what does it matter? I have no issues about being here the longest whereas you clearly have. If that kind of superiority gets you off, then fine – it’s fucked up and sad, but as it means so much to you…

    “Get over myself”??? LOL… you’re a piece of work Mate… as far as Rant goes, I’m a relative newcomer… Cap, Brian, Robbo, Unc, Dannii, Fatty, Max, Red, and on, and on… they were all here before me… and I don’t give a shit… and I was only here a couple months before you… and that’s the point… you made up this same pathetic little charade once before, claiming to be part of the “old days”… when I halled you out as full of shit then, you took it like a man, owned up to it, and we had a laugh… too bad you couldn’t do that again, eh?
    Don’t make out like I’m the one making a big deal of this… until you kicked off, and got all indignant, it was just typical Rant bollocks… you were talking shit, and I pointed out, that you were talking shit.
    It’s the same craic we’ve all been part of ever since each of us joined.

    “Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don’t need badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabrón and ching’ tu madre! Come out from that shit-hole of yours. I have to speak to you.”

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    captainhormone said:
    Ffs..I was here before both of you and have 3 ruined forums to show for my contribution

    Yeah, and Ive been right there with you man… right fuckin there… knee deep in the blood and gore… we’ve seen some shit man… ya know??? some real shit!

  • captainhormone

    Haha…nam….

    “You weren’t there man”

  • captainhormone

    Tbf though alf..Chris post would have been bumped so anyone after would have still felt the full force of his cuntishness

  • madmax

    I remember a thread by Chris about pre-marital sex. Not sure whether it was bumped or a new thread. But dear lord that thread was a gold mine

  • Dean Jackson

    I’m intrigued… can us new Ranters see some of these legendary posts? Anyone worse than Coach “smokes way too much” Herbie must be crazy.

  • captainhormone

    Unfortunately we’ve destroyed 3 forums since then..but I’m sure some kind soul may have access

    • Dean Jackson

      How do you destroy a forum?

  • http://www.visual-intrusion.com Robbo

    Finally typical fucking Rant, Topics being hijacked and taken off in weird and wonderful tangents

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    captainhormone said:
    Tbf though alf..Chris post would have been bumped so anyone after would have still felt the full force of his cuntishness

    Yeah I know… I remember seeing some of it repeated several times, but to be honest, a lot of it just goes over your head… hearing it second hand isn’t the same as being there.

    For instance… try explaining “fight club”, to anyone who wasn’t there, or the “wheelchair sex” thread… those, I was around for… classics… but I know fuck all about Chris.

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Ask ED… he was in therapy for nearly two years, when the first one died.

    And Robbos forum died horribly… and if I had anything at all to do with that… I’m genuinely sorry.

  • http://www.visual-intrusion.com Robbo

    Commenter said:
    How do you destroy a forum?

    Ask Brian.

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    LOL…

    Yeah…

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    “Get over myself”??? LOL… you’re a piece of work Mate… as far as Rant goes, I’m a relative newcomer… Cap, Brian, Robbo, Unc, Dannii, Fatty, Max, Red, and on, and on… they were all here before me… and I don’t give a shit… and I was only here a couple months before you… and that’s the point… you made up this same pathetic little charade once before, claiming to be part of the “old days”… when I halled you out as full of shit then, you took it like a man, owned up to it, and we had a laugh… too bad you couldn’t do that again, eh?

    Don’t make out like I’m the one making a big deal of this… until you kicked off, and got all indignant, it was just typical Rant bollocks… you were talking shit, and I pointed out, that you were talking shit.

    It’s the same craic we’ve all been part of ever since each of us joined.

    Fuck I do miss the madness – fair do’s Alf, you can be a hurtful fucker though.

    I just want you to love me like you used to

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya <a href=”http://www.unitedrant.co.uk/for
    For instance… try explaining “fight club”, to anyone who wasn’t there, or the “wheelchair sex” thread… those, I was around for… classics… but I know fuck all about Chris.

    Two brilliant threads tbf

    I was there for those wasn’t I Alf?

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Pikey McScum said:
    Fuck I do miss the madness – fair do’s Alf, you can be a hurtful fucker though.

    I just want you to love me like you used to

    Ahhh, come on man… you’re like the little brother I never had…

    and never wanted…

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    Ahhh, come on man… you’re like the little brother I never had…

    and never wanted…

    Cunt I’d tell our mum on you if she wasn’t off somewhere taking it up the shit pipe

  • captainhormone

    *ahem*

  • captainhormone

    Commenter said:
    How do you destroy a forum?

    Well…if you are a mod you can have a meltdown and delete the forum

    Then swear blind it wasn’t you

    Loblolly

    Or you can hijack every serious utd related thread and turn it into a cockfest

  • Alfonso Bedoya

    Remember when we had a problem with “NSFW” material… I think we even got someone fired from their job… accidentally of course…

    Repooc… I think his name was.

  • Pikey McScum

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    Remember when we had a problem with “NSFW” material… I think we even got someone fired from their job… accidentally of course…

    Repooc… I think his name was.

    LOL

    Your memory is astonishing!

  • captainhormone

    Alfonso Bedoya said:
    Remember when we had a problem with “NSFW” material… I think we even got someone fired from their job… accidentally of course…

    Repooc… I think his name was.

    Whoops….was it my fault? I always..tbf..was quite good with newfangled stuff

    Tbf

  • http://www.unitedrant.co.uk/members/danniitronix/ danniitronix

    wasn’t captains brother posting on here at some stage, fucking lunatic that lad

    Old school wankers were captain, spud, robbo, spike, red dread, mad red, poll, cal, Baggie, miserable cunt ed, naily, fatty, Brian. I’m pretty sure alf and pikey were around when I started posting maybe even Sid, I was deffo after chris. Fuck knows when nobby started posting.

    Other rant spackas were urban legend and don macabre.

    What about that penis czuk?

  • http://www.unitedrant.co.uk/members/danniitronix/ danniitronix

    Scot the Red was a nipple too with his shithouse merchandise advert threads.

  • uncleknobheadffs

    tbf I don’t know who chris 1661 is

    don’t care tbf

    bman/bill/marlon > chris

    formations and transfers > everything else tbf