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UNITEDRANT

United’s new kit is…

July 7, 2014 Tags: Opinion 15 comments
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The annual cycle of corporate nonsense and glib spin: Manchester United’s kit launch. Two years ago the club released, to much fanfare about Manchester’s “industrial heritage,” something akin to a £60 tablecloth. Last year, with a kit that actually drew positive supporter reviews, the spin centred on United’s green (but not gold) edge – a kit made from recycled bottles. This year, the Nike marketing dream team have come up with the immortal slogan: “New Season. New Kit.” Rant might be tempted to argue that ‘they couldn’t make it up’ – but obviously somebody did.

United’s 2014/15 home kit features a garish Chevrolet logo, white round-neck collar, and white cuffs. The three-button designed from the 2013/14 vintage has been discarded in favour of just one, while the socks, of which there is more later, remain black, but with a red edge.

As usual United cranked up the spin, sticking to the template of image gallery, scripted player interviews and technology guff that has changed little from previous years.

“Nike took 3D body scans of many of the world’s leading footballers to create a kit with an updated and perfect new fit,” claimed United’s official website on Monday. Rant suspects, although no proof is at hand, that Anderson was not involved in pre-production.

“The sock for 2014 also boasts a sleeker design. Designers spoke to many of today’s elite players to gain an insight in to what they wanted from a sock. There are now strategically cushioned zones to provide comfort and protection around the big toe and less material to enhance players’ touch.”

The players got in on the act too. “It is very comfortable and is a very nice shirt,” said goalkeeper David De Gea. “It’s simple and very nice,” added fellow stopper Anders Lindegaard. Let scripted praise for the “crest” and “pride” in wearing the new kit abound!

Fans, if social media is any barometer, were feeling somewhat less complimentary on Monday. The kit is “not as good as it should have been,” according to @vino_grigio and “lazy, greedy and uninspiring,” said @_Slabs_. It is a shirt “spoilt by sponsorship,” said @ilovejoosters, and “busy jumping the corporate shark,” according to @Okwonga. Or simply “corporate bollocks as per,” said @egs76.

Predictably it is a kit “polarising opinions,” according to @1966TYoC. Although it is “better looking then Liverpool’s goalkeeper kit,” said @Tihomgouthi. Small mercies, and all that.

The 2014/15 shirt is the first to feature United’s new principle sponsor Chevrolet, although the company has spent the past year ramping up its marketing activity in English football. It is a brand synonymous with American muscle cars, yet General Motors’ purchase of Korean firm Daewoo has added a somewhat less glamorous portfolio to the UK roster of available Chevy models. Cheap crap, some might say. Rant couldn’t possibly comment.

It may also be the last United kit produced by Nike, with the club negotiating a 10-year, £600 million deal with the Oregan-based company. Addidas among others is reportedly keen to outbid the US firm.

Images from manutd.com

David de Gea

Wayne Rooney

Danny Welbeck

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15 comments

Matt Ferreira - July 7, 2014 Reply

hijacked

David Rourke - July 7, 2014 Reply

… prominently & cynically modelled by Shinji (not yet a regular) in the ‘launch’ picture.

Excited Barry - July 7, 2014 Reply

Russell Beardsmore.

James Mark Phillips - July 7, 2014 Reply

AWFUL

Surinder Raj Singh - July 7, 2014 Reply

better looking than I thought it’d be

Subterranean Steve - July 8, 2014 Reply

ho hum..ho hum..ho..hum…………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ALEX SEWOR - July 8, 2014 Reply

It very nice and fit thank Nike.

Phil Dando - July 8, 2014 Reply

Not bad seems to be winning the poll…

BG™ - July 8, 2014 Reply

DDG’s kit looks great.

Adam - July 8, 2014 Reply

Better than Liverpool obviously. But it’s not Roma’s. But even Roma kit will be ruined by that Chevy logo that can be seen from the moon. It remind me of 2011/12 kit (especially the collar) and of course that button from last season kit. Better than Gingham (2012/13) design. It is too bad that Utd & Nike can’t come to agreement for new contract. I love Nike but I am afraid that Utd might sign for Adidas (help us all that Utd won’t sign with Warrior – but money is everything in this business). So expecting we all will wear same design as Real Madrid & Chelsea with only different will be the shirt colours.

Andy - July 8, 2014 Reply

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPQ44RDOAx4

Shame that GM are a hideous company but ethics never gets in the way of these kind of deals.

Dave A Burin - July 8, 2014 Reply

This is the only decent way to launch a kit:

Dosdamt - July 9, 2014 Reply

The delboy like way those electronics are strewn around is on the mark for Ron Atkinson, the fat useless sausage

Damian Garside - July 11, 2014 Reply

I wouldn’t want to walk into a filling station wearing the shirt with that logo (one that a fellow poster hilariously suggests “can be seen from the Moon”.) United fans doing so shouldn’t be too surprised if they are subjected to a pressure check, complete oil change and have a few gallons of premium pumped up the arse.

Andrew - July 19, 2014 Reply

“Nike took 3D body scans of many of the world’s leading footballers to create a kit with an updated and perfect new fit,” claimed United’s official website on Monday. Rant suspects, although no proof is at hand, that Anderson was not involved in pre-production.

Great line about Anderson. That cunt has to take a good hard look at himself. Had the lot

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