Aye it used to fuck me off though when I was 17 and away for first fortnight with the lads and a few holidays after that when English Welsh or Scottish or European but bearing in mind if it was Magaluf it's nearly all Brits and Irish,
And someone goes you Irish boys or oh I have a friend who's Irish (that ones a Belter when a bird goes I've an Irish mate, do you know him, because the Island isn't two different countries and everyone knows everyone lol),
Anyhoo, yeah my mates would go we're Northern Irish, we're British etc. and I'd be the one going does it really fuckin matter,
Especially birds, a group of birds start talking to you and you're going to correct their geography??!!
I put a stop to it one night when there were three of us and three English birds, one good looking, on okish and one, I hate sounding like a typical chauvinistic cunt but personally I wasn't attracted to her, let's just leave it at that, so the good looking one goes oh I love Irish accents and grabs my arse, fast forward, round of drinks later, zebs bounces with her back to their decent wee apartment, she's like are you really 19? I was 17 and a bit so I was like yeah yeah, she was 24 which back then seemed sophisticated as fuck as did a job in an insurance call centre, I just I worked for Boots which I did so again fair enough.
So sitting having a drink with her and she's like you're so respectful, I said what do you mean, she goes most lads would have tried it on straight away, I was thinking this is going sweet for young zebadee here, brought her into the bedroom, happy days, next minute apartment door bangs open, the other four pile in, my mate brings the second one into the same fuckin lights off bedroom and I was going for fuck sake, next minute all you hear is a big Belfast accent bumbling I'm sorry, sorry, sorry about that. I went out there's the third one and my mate in his boxers and I was like what the fuck did you do to her??? She was raaaaggggiiinggg.
He turns round and goes fucks sake zebs, four pumps and a squirt mate, and I was like for fuck sake, can nobody be fuckin cool and play their cards right!! So back in darkened room, mate was obviously struggling somewhere in the far side, might have been far side of space as far as I was concerned so number 1 hands me a rubber, I try to tear it open without making a noise, me and her were laughing as well, my mate starts kicking off going can use two not fuck up! I said we're trying but it's hard with you two here! So booted them out on to balcony, bobs your uncle, zebs about to become a man all over again only internationally this time,
when there's this scream, at this point I'm just like will I ignore it but she wanted to check on her friend, another voice from supposedly more sensible mate, zebs can you come into the bathroom please.........
Walked into blood everywhere, he goes I need to look at this for me, I went ohhhh hell no, he says please zebs, so he moves his hand and her long finger nails have done a bit of damage, I said you'll live, marched back into the dark room, number one girl goes what about your friend, I said he should live, finished the job fell asleep.
Woke up to an empty apartment, note from bird they had went to the beach, went into bog, tooth paste note on mirror, fuck you zebs!
Haha, walk of shame in a pair of Levi's dockers and a long sleeve shirt, thought I was going to die of thirst.
Got back, two mates lying, one with injured troops on his back, they other in igmony with his head in the pillow.
I said what happened, the ashamed one goes, I got too excited, the other one goes, "she said some shit about she'd just come out of a relationship (he literally had no empathy despite being a nice guy) so said fuck sake well what can you give me," I said she's not a fucking sweet shop you spanner, you deserve that injury.
And he goes, you? And I mumbled twice as I drifted off to sleep again, last thing I remember is the thick one going, here did those birds last night fuckin call us Irish???
From that day forward, no matter how much it pisses them off, they never really corrected a girl again for calling any of us Irish.
Amazing what a short skirt can do.
Well I suppose that's the knighthood fucked.