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Victor Lindelof - Page 7 - United Rant

Victor Lindelof

Manchester United chat

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redzebs
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby redzebs » Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:16 pm

Aye it used to fuck me off though when I was 17 and away for first fortnight with the lads and a few holidays after that when English Welsh or Scottish or European but bearing in mind if it was Magaluf it's nearly all Brits and Irish,

And someone goes you Irish boys or oh I have a friend who's Irish (that ones a Belter when a bird goes I've an Irish mate, do you know him, because the Island isn't two different countries and everyone knows everyone lol),

Anyhoo, yeah my mates would go we're Northern Irish, we're British etc. and I'd be the one going does it really fuckin matter,

Especially birds, a group of birds start talking to you and you're going to correct their geography??!!

I put a stop to it one night when there were three of us and three English birds, one good looking, on okish and one, I hate sounding like a typical chauvinistic cunt but personally I wasn't attracted to her, let's just leave it at that, so the good looking one goes oh I love Irish accents and grabs my arse, fast forward, round of drinks later, zebs bounces with her back to their decent wee apartment, she's like are you really 19? I was 17 and a bit so I was like yeah yeah, she was 24 which back then seemed sophisticated as fuck as did a job in an insurance call centre, I just I worked for Boots which I did so again fair enough.

So sitting having a drink with her and she's like you're so respectful, I said what do you mean, she goes most lads would have tried it on straight away, I was thinking this is going sweet for young zebadee here, brought her into the bedroom, happy days, next minute apartment door bangs open, the other four pile in, my mate brings the second one into the same fuckin lights off bedroom and I was going for fuck sake, next minute all you hear is a big Belfast accent bumbling I'm sorry, sorry, sorry about that. I went out there's the third one and my mate in his boxers and I was like what the fuck did you do to her??? She was raaaaggggiiinggg.

He turns round and goes fucks sake zebs, four pumps and a squirt mate, and I was like for fuck sake, can nobody be fuckin cool and play their cards right!! So back in darkened room, mate was obviously struggling somewhere in the far side, might have been far side of space as far as I was concerned so number 1 hands me a rubber, I try to tear it open without making a noise, me and her were laughing as well, my mate starts kicking off going can use two not fuck up! I said we're trying but it's hard with you two here! So booted them out on to balcony, bobs your uncle, zebs about to become a man all over again only internationally this time,

when there's this scream, at this point I'm just like will I ignore it but she wanted to check on her friend, another voice from supposedly more sensible mate, zebs can you come into the bathroom please.........

Walked into blood everywhere, he goes I need to look at this for me, I went ohhhh hell no, he says please zebs, so he moves his hand and her long finger nails have done a bit of damage, I said you'll live, marched back into the dark room, number one girl goes what about your friend, I said he should live, finished the job fell asleep.

Woke up to an empty apartment, note from bird they had went to the beach, went into bog, tooth paste note on mirror, fuck you zebs!

Haha, walk of shame in a pair of Levi's dockers and a long sleeve shirt, thought I was going to die of thirst.

Got back, two mates lying, one with injured troops on his back, they other in igmony with his head in the pillow.

I said what happened, the ashamed one goes, I got too excited, the other one goes, "she said some shit about she'd just come out of a relationship (he literally had no empathy despite being a nice guy) so said fuck sake well what can you give me," I said she's not a fucking sweet shop you spanner, you deserve that injury.

And he goes, you? And I mumbled twice as I drifted off to sleep again, last thing I remember is the thick one going, here did those birds last night fuckin call us Irish???

From that day forward, no matter how much it pisses them off, they never really corrected a girl again for calling any of us Irish.

Amazing what a short skirt can do.
Well I suppose that's the knighthood fucked.

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bman2
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby bman2 » Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:24 pm

So, er, I hear this Lindelof is a decent defender.

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bman2
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby bman2 » Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:26 pm

Just kidding. I'm from the republic. Paddy isn't the worst slur in the world, but it's clearly meant to be pejorative, so I blocked your man pint vinegar when he started throwing it into his posts a few weeks back.

pint vulger
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby pint vulger » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:38 pm


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Alfonso Bedoya
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby Alfonso Bedoya » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:57 pm

There are some right fuckin ridiculous twats on here lately...

This shit shouldn't even need explaining...

"Chink" was offensive back in the 70s ffs... I should know, I used it all the time, because I was a thick, ignorant little cunt, living in a town with a huge Chinese population... but then, back in the 70s, we were still telling "paki" jokes, and asking daft questions like, if they can call themselves, "ni%%er", why can't we?

Most of the world has evolved beyond that knuckle dragging, backwards, shit now though... most of the world has moved beyond grunting and crude gestures to communicate... some are obviously still working on it... shame there's nowt we can do to speed up their evolution... they make it awkward for everyonre else... it's a shittly conversation...
"Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don't need badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabrón and ching' tu madre! Come out from that shit-hole of yours. I have to speak to you."

pint vulger
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby pint vulger » Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:09 pm

Its not that black and white ten bob,you jumped the gun mate ,but its your toy and I accept that but calling somone an odious twat is as offensive as the other shit ,but you ignored that,why ?
I have to say thare is no words you could say that would offend me ever,its school yard shit,thats why snoops it suprises me with your offence of a ?
But i accept that with respect.
Its all daft anyway.
You have to accept folks were dragged up in differing environs,its complicated.

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Alfonso Bedoya
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby Alfonso Bedoya » Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:38 pm

"Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don't need badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabrón and ching' tu madre! Come out from that shit-hole of yours. I have to speak to you."

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Sid
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby Sid » Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:53 pm


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redzebs
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby redzebs » Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:38 pm

Well I suppose that's the knighthood fucked.

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swampash
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Re: Victor Lindelof

Postby swampash » Sun Jul 02, 2017 9:14 pm

Hahahaha! This is the best complete bollox shite rant shit I have seen in ages!!!!
Rock on ya bastards!!!
Love this! You're all cunts, or in zebs' case a new age personification of Kerouak...
I'm only wearing black until they discover something darker...


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