Do you? Or do you just get fucking laughed at by every club you deal with and get the complete fuckin piss taken out of you because your chief exec hasn't a fuckin scooby while real clubs do proper business.
Oh oh oh, but we signed Lakaku from under Chelsea's noses!!! Right so we paid £75 mill plus add ons plus Rooney plus paying Rooneys wages.
Wow. Top negotiating, going into a meeting with a club who have signed about 5 players already and already knew they were going to lose the player we were discussing anyway, handing them a blank cheque and giving them an experienced player basically risk free because we'd be paying most of his wages, for free.
I really hope no one tries to poach Woodward, we should be worried about that.
We've replaced an older centre forward with a younger centre forward and paid the going rate, that's not business acumen or shrewd magic in the transfer market.
That's the equivalent of one of us going to Tescos and saying fuck it, I'll really push the boat out and get my ham slices from the counter instead of the aisle and paying an extra £2. You don't go the checkout with the rest of the shop giving you a round of applause do you, or get a blow job from the checkout girl, you just have to give her more money and if you're lucky you'll get offered a bag.
For fuck sake. We make a couple of signings last year and paid the going rate and more and suddenly Ed Woodwards a genius.
Zlatan :- on a free, wanted to try the Prem, hates Pep, no other club bar maybe Chelsea could have afforded nearly £400k a week and he gets on well with Jose and was guaranteed starts. Credit to Ed 2/10
Pogba :- Desperately needed a new midfielder, knew a load of the squad already, knew the club, and his old club was happy to take a world record fee and we'd pay him the most out of any other club in the hunt.
Credit to Ed 4/10
Bailey :- highly rated among some people in the game, promising up and coming player yet bit of a risk for other clubs who would take a major impact if he flopped, wanted by the manager, paid a high price last season for a young unproven in a major league prospect because the manager identified him and the selling club realistically couldn't afford to say no.
Credit to Ed 6/10
Mickey T :- Bundesliga player of the year twice, highly rated in a good league, bought from a club who sell to buy but didn't pay over the odds and didn't seem to have to fight off lots of rivals.
Credit to Ed :- 7/10
Lindeloff :- See Bailey.
Well I suppose that's the knighthood fucked.