Tag Dimitar Berbatov

Tag Dimitar Berbatov

Berbatov: I’m feeling the pressure

December 15, 2009 Tags: Shorts 2 comments

Manchester United’s Dimitar Berbatov is feeling the weight of expectation under the burden of a £30 million transfer fee according to the Bulgarian striker. Berbatov, who has scored 18 goals in 60 appearances for Sir Alex Ferguson’s side, joined the Reds from Tottenham Hotspur on transfer deadline day August 2008.

But the former Bayern Leverkusen and CSKA Sofia player, roundly criticised in the media for perceived lacklustre performances, has clearly been affected by the spotlight focused on him since his arrival at Old Trafford 18 months ago.

“Every person is different in coping with the pressure of the price tag,” said Berbatov.

“Every person thinks differently. For me, sometimes it is difficult because people expect so much of me.

“The fans have probably seen glimpses of my best goals, passes and games. I know you need to show that all the time and that’s my main goal – in every game to show my best game. But that’s the way it should be because the people here have paid so much money for you.

“I try to give my best for the team to win things. I think I did that in my first season. We won the championship and I think everybody was happy about that.

“I’m happy. I love it here. The club are bigger than you think. United are one of the biggest clubs in the world and you are playing with some of the best players in the world.”

“The manager is so many years in charge of this great club that of course you are going to learn things. If you want to develop, this is the place to be. He is the type of manager who always protects his players.”

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #6 Mafia Dodging

December 2, 2009 Tags: Just for fun No comments

Hello fans.

Many of you have read the news reports about me running away from Bulgaria’s number one gangster, Boris Hitmanovski. This is not true.

I did not run, and never let it be said that Berba is a runner!

The truth is I was airlifted, and I must take this opportunity to thank the S.A.S. for escorting me so safely from Bulgaria directly to the panic room of my high security Cheshire mansion.

This type of fleeing from people trying to kill me is a regular event in my life. Fans, you will be amazed to hear that some people do not love me as you do, and wish to harm me. No, I am not talking about jealous ex-lovers or Carlos Tevez. I am talking about the Mafia.

This is why escaping organised crime has become a key skill of mine, and an important habit of successful people like me. Habit #6: Mafia Dodging

Left: Hitmanovski angry, Right: Berbatov relaxed

Left: Hitmanovski Facebook Profile - Right: Berbatov Mafia Dodging

In today’s world, it seems that sleeping with a criminal warlord’s wife, in his house, in his bed, wearing his pyjamas, is considered an act Hitmanovski is not prepared to forgive me for.

Even after kidnapping my pet rabbit Carlos, and selling him to a circus run by gypsies touring the Belgian countryside, he still does not see us as quits.

Well what can I do?

I certainly cannot spend my life hiding in my panic room, mainly due to my commitments to being in public places such as football stadiums and awards ceremonies.

So I have hired a discreet team of ex-KGB mercenaries that shadow my every move. This protection team also includes 37 Dobermans, an Apache attack helicopter, and a direct line to launch the USS Eisenhower’s first strike attack squadron.

All these subtle measures have ensured that I am safe in leafy Cheshire, while allowing me to lead a normal life like everyone else, safe from underworld harrassment.

Berbatov with discreet ex-KGB team

Berbatov with Discreet ex-KGB Team

So fans, if you find yourself tweaking the nose of a notorious crime lord, forget the old Italian saying: “You must keep your friends close, but your enemies closer,” and remember Berba’s more effective Bulgarian motto: “Keep your friends close enough to shield you from a bullet, and make sure your enemies can only get to you through your pets.”

Goodbye and Good Mafia Dodging

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #5 Self Inspection

November 20, 2009 Tags: Just for fun 3 comments

Dear fans,

Like modern men of today, I self-examine myself a lot.

Even with my busy lifestyle, I always make sure I take time to look at myself whenever I can.

This is not only physically using reflective objects, but as importantly, in the emotional and spiritual sense too. That is why I write a diary, but not the sissy kind, because mine is coloured black not pink and is full of man thoughts not girl thoughts.

I started writing into Olga, the name of my diary, when I was 26, after a life changing pyjama party I had with the Bulgarian national team.

We were watching a pirate DVD of ‘Pretty Woman’ when suddenly I felt all these emotions in me that needed to be explained: Why Dimitar can you not find a prostitute with a heart like Julia Roberts? Why is Hollywood so good at happy endings? What is the meaning of human existence?

These and many other complicated thoughts are put into my diary, and it is this writing process which has helped me become a more complete Bulgarian Man of the Millennium.

So for today, my important habit of successful people like me is habit #5: Self Inspection.

Dimitar Berbatov

To show you what I mean, and give you an example to aspire too, here is my entry into Olga this week:

Dear Olga,

I want to win the European Cup, I am almost 100% sure I do. I even told the press this week, so there is no turning back now.

I was invited to the premiere of the scouser movie “15 Mins That Shook The World”. I enjoyed it very much, especially when AC Milan won 3-0, which is when I left. Hopefully the same result against the blue scousers this weekend.

On Wednesday, I played fantastically and put the mighty football nation of Malta to the sword, scoring 2 goals which made me the top scorer in Bulgarian football history.

I felt happy but after some analysis I realised that without true love I am still an incomplete person no matter how successful I am being.

I meditated a lot, especially during training sessions.

I hope my hairline stops receding.

Can’t wait to be with the lads in Manchester and make fun of O’Shea and Gibson. Maybe we can spend the summer hanging out in the Trafford Centre together.

I hope I can make Sir Alex love me one day.

As you can see fans, being honest with yourself is almost as important as looking good on the outside. A diary will help you do this, and can be sold for a lot of money if you become famous.

The more honest you can be, the better a person you will become. Look at my friend Thierry Henry and you see a great example of someone whose self honesty has made him a truly successful human, loved by all, who single handedly got his team to the world cup. I wish the same to you all.

Goodbye and Good Self Inspection!

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #4 Joking Around

November 13, 2009 Tags: Just for fun 4 comments

Fans,

I feel I must personally apologise for our defeat against Chelsea. This was largely because of my absence from the game, the result of a practical joke that went wrong.

The morning of the match, I told Patrice that it would be a great idea for me to hide in the luggage compartment of the team coach. The lads would then open it to put their kit bags in, and I would jump out like a crazy man and scare them a lot. This would be very funny.

Patrice agreed that this was a great joke and helped me sneak into the bus and close the door. After a while, I realised that the bus had not opened, and it was moving. When I finally got out, I found myself not in Chelsea, but in Warsaw Central Station, Poland.

To this day, Patrice swears that putting me in the wrong bus was an honest mistake. I believe him because he is not a joker by nature, and he does not have the skill to out fox me when it comes to practical joke making.

This ability of mine to create funny situations that bring people together in laughter is my successful habit #4: Joking Around

Successful Habit: Joking Around - Pretending to be a Gnome

Successful Habit: Joking Around - Pretending to be a Gnome

As a child, laughter followed me everywhere I went, especially at birthday parties where the other kids confused me with the clown entertainer. As a result of my oversized head, hands and feet, I was later hired as Ronald McDonald’s official Bulgarian sidekick, Bighead McNuggetski.

It is then that I realised that my looks and my desire to pleasure people were a a powerful combination, one that could bring joy in life, not only to others, but also to me.

Today, the great team morale you see at Manchester is largely thanks to my fun bringing. Ask the lads, and they will tell you many stories where they laughed a lot at me.

Joking_3

Joking_2There was the example when I was tied to a post and mock executed after our Everton penalty defeat; or the time I stole a tractor from Bulgaria, drove it to Manchester and invented the no running sport of tractorball, or my personal favourite, my 11 aside javelin throwing eliminator contest.

So why is joking around so important in life success? Well it is scientifically proven that childlike behaviour creates powerful energy amongst people. Gandhi, Stalin and Robbie Williams all knew this. I am fortunate also to have this gift.

Joking_4

So my advice in becoming a leader of men is simple. Go share your inner child with people around you and don’t be scared to let your fun side out. From funerals, to accident scenes to hairdryer treatments by your big boss, practical joking is always appreciated by everyone in all occasions. There are no exeptions.

Good Bye and Good Joking Around.

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #3 Pleasuring

November 6, 2009 Tags: Just for fun 1 comment

Hello fans,

Have you missed me a lot this week?

Well I have been on holiday because Sir Alex told me with his hairdryer to “Give it a rest Berba!” during my thank you poem for my beautiful goal last game.

So obeying his order, I entered my hot air balloon and jet-setted my way to the playground of the rich and beautiful, Monte Carlo.

Here, I have been enjoying my most important habit for successful people like me, Habit #3: Pleasuring

Fans you are accustomed to seeing me pleasuring with the lads. But away from football, there is another side of me that brings great joy to people, and that is through my dedication to womanising.

Even in Bulgaria, my mother always said I could grow up to be a really good prostitute, not for the money, but because I wanted to give pleasure to so many people. It was a difficult career decision I had to take, but I decided to make football my business and pleasuring my hobby, although sometimes I still get them mixed up.

So after a week in the world’s most competitive prostitute market, I can report that I have once again made you proud. Yes fans, I have broken all the records set by Cristiano, and represented Manchester greatly with the amount of pleasuring I have completed.

Womanising

Successful Habit: Womanising in Monte Carlo

The money I have raised has been donated to my ‘Womanising in the Community Programme’ which helps underprivileged people like you make it in places like Monaco and Bangkok.

Even if you do not make it as a professional pleasurer, this habit can still have many great benefits for everyday life.

For example it can help you meet new types of loose friends, pay your rent if you have no money, and most importantly, help you improve your football with its focus on ball juggling, tackle control and sticking it in the right place at the right time.

I believe that my achievements in womanising are showing you the way to a better future.

Now go! Follow it well and you too can finally be a true giver to the people around you.

Goodbye and Good Pleasuring

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #2 Good Lookingness

November 2, 2009 Tags: Just for fun 6 comments

Hello Fans

First, I must be accepting of your praise for my magnificent goal on Saturday. Thank you. I made it really fantastic for you.

I had many options in that game but I only chose the best looking one to score. That is because I believe inferior chances are beneath a great club like Manchester and a great role model like me.

Football should never be ugly, it is a very beautiful thing, and so is my life. This is why my second important habit of successful people like me is habit 2: Good Lookingness.

My slogan in life is taken from the great American real life story Men In Black, where I first heard the important wisdom: “You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.”

I agree with this because everyone knows that beauty makes you a better person. But it is not easy when ugliness is all around you.

Sir Alex breaking the news to Carlos: "The difference between you two is that you make this look good Berba."

Sir Alex breaking the news to Carlos: "The difference between you two is that you make this look good Berba."

Ok so I have been lucky in life, having good looks in a big body and a big head that helps more people see me from further distances.

But this beauty is a commitment I work hard on. After all I was patient a long time, taking criticism before I unleashed my flick against Sunderland that made everyone love me. Many of you have voted it your favourite moment in life, and I agree.

So patience in the face of ugliness is important, and that is the lesson I want you to learn from me. There are many days where you will have to be strong and refuse the ugly options that life gives you, like wearing clothes from the supermarket or driving a car that is not a Mercedes or even running without the ball.

But rest assured loyal fans, in the moments of your weakness you will always have my strengths to look up to.

That is why I make a promise to you here and now, a promise to fill your lives with as much beautifulness as you can accept. I hope you are strong enough take it.

Good bye and good lookingness to you all!

Successfull Habit 2: Good Lookingness

Successfull Habit 2: Good Lookingness

Find more Berbatov musings at Dirty Tackle.

Dimitar Berbatov’s seven habits of highly successful people like me: #1 Resting

October 30, 2009 Tags: Just for fun 3 comments

Hello fans,

It’s Dimitar. You know me because I play for your Manchester club in the best position of football attack. Also, I am Bulgaria’s national hero and a sport model of great admiration for everyone.

I made this position of success by not only being great, but also by having seven important habits of great people like me. I will tell you about my secrets, Manchester fans, because you deserve it for supporting me with love and cash.

Now, I will tell you about the first of my seven habits that have made me into perfection. I will tell you about the other ones later when I feel like it so you can also become like me, and improve yourself better than you are now.

My most important habit is habit number 1: Resting.

“If you can rest while others are not, then the world is yours my son.” That is what my father, Berbatar Dimitov used to say to me everyday before his eight hour lunchtime siesta.

My father understood that life pressure can be bad on health. But he also understood that bad things cannot attack you when you are resting, it is scientifically impossible. My father was a great man like my mother.

Habit 1: Resting

Succesful Habit 1: Resting

Unfortunately, it is not easy to rest professionally like my father, and many people are not good enough to do it. My substitute Carlos Tevez failed and said goodbye to Manchester because he could not rest as much as me. I beat him.

I also beat Tottenham president Mr Levy because I told him: “I will rest until you let me leave, I will be Gandhi! I will sleep to get my justice!” Tottenham quickly surrendered to me: “OK, go to Manchester now! You win again Berbatov.”

For me Resting is not only a habit, but an important part of my success and my life. It is easy because I trained many hours at becoming perfect. Now I can do it anywhere and anytime. I am like a bear resting in a field and then being magnificent when I see a fish.

Now enough of this, we must all leave this and return to doing relaxation.

I will be back when I feel like it with more from my ‘Seven habits of successful people like me’.

Good bye and good restings.

Find more Berbatov musings at Dirty Tackle.

Reflective Berbatov ready to step up

October 2, 2009 Tags: Opinion 1 comment

Dimitar Berbatov has been the subject of much criticism since his £30.5 million move from Tottenham Hotspur in the summer of 2008. The media was all too quick to label the Manchester United forward a ‘flop’. Meanwhile, sections of the United support became suspicious of the player’s patented no-action style. Both have demanded more.

But not, it seems, more than the man himself.

Berbatov is far from a football cliché. Choose your words: Mysterious. Languid. Arrogant. Aloof. Although none truly portray the real Berbatov; a shy family man, searching for his demons within a tapestry of almost peerless talent. Enigmatic off-the-pitch; unpredictable on it. Perhaps the Blagoevgrad-born striker should have been a movie star, not a footballer. As a player and a man, he has always been difficult to place in a box and therefore perennially misunderstood.

On the pitch the former Bayer Levekusen player has undoubtedly earned himself a reputation. The effortless grace of the Bulgarian’s playing style is too often mistaken for lack of work ethic. Perhaps more damaging – and closer to the truth – is the oft levelled criticism that he lacks a cutting edge. It’s a charge the player recognises, and one hard to rebut after 14 goals in 43 appearances for the club last season.

“That is my fault, not theirs. It is me who must change,” Berbatov told The Sun of the criticism levelled at him by supporters.

“Manchester United are their club. They have treated me perfectly since I came. In my first year I was disappointed in myself. I need to say that.

“It was a big pressure for me and maybe I failed myself. I think I wanted to prove myself to these supporters.

“You must remember, they are used to Best, Charlton, Cantona. I am just Dimitar. I got a number of assists, but I must score more goals.”

One often gets the sense that Berbatov – selfless as both a man and player – gains more pleasure from executing another sublime piece of skill than scoring a goal. That the excitement, for him, is in the journey and not the destination itself. It’s a character trait that his father and mentor Ivan has often expressed of the former CSKA Sofia player. One that is more often seem as a flaw in professional sport.

While Berbatov has often been compared to United legend Eric Cantona, their personalities are polar opposites. The graceful style on the pitch have drawn supporters and media alike to the comparison but it is Berbatov’s introspection, opposed to the Frenchman’s bravado, that has led to sleepless nights for the current United striker.

“I don’t know what I am doing wrong sometimes. Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s me… who knows?,” he said.

“At nights I have stayed awake thinking, ‘You could have done this instead’.”

There is also a sense that the media – ever keen to find a convenient pigeon-hole for a player they don’t understand – spend less time analysing the Bulgarian’s game than the man himself. He is a player aware both of his talents and his limitations. Indeed, far from the arrogant label he is often attributed, Berbatov is a player uncomfortable under the spotlight.

But the Bulgarian has begun his second his second season at United aware of the need to cultivate both his goal tally and work ethic if he is to improve on his tally of 16 goals in 53 appearances.

“I am more pleased with my overall game in this second season already,” he added.

“I feel that I have integrated myself better into the team. I am much stronger, much fitter. But I still wish I could score more. I will be honest. This criticism did affect me, but not in a negative way.

“I looked at our ProZone stats and saw that I was ninth in distance covered. I am kind of a nerd. I looked at them too much, maybe. By the end of the season I was fourth. Maybe this season I will be first!”

The player’s performances have certainly caught the eye this season, especially those against Tottenham and Wolfsburg. Moreover, Berbatov’s ability to drift in-between the midfield and back four will be central to the team’s ability to break down opposition ready to ‘park the bus’ this season. Without the Cristiano Ronaldo battering ram, United must look for subtlty around the box.

Berbatov’s role in the United team also creates questions. Fans at Old Trafford have grown used to players who play at pace, such as Rooney, Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez in recent seasons. Berbatov by contrast is apt to slow the game. Moreover, Ferguson believes that the player’s performances are better when deployed as an out-and-out striker, with Rooney in-the-hole. Yet with roles reverse, the Bulgarian is a consummate at exploiting space.

One thing is certain: Berbatov is unlikely to make any demands.

Berbatov wants European win

August 26, 2009 Tags: , Shorts No comments

Dimitar Berbatov says that Manchester United’s players are determined to win the Champions League this season after defeat to Barcelona in last year’s final. Berbatov, who was left out of the starting line-up in Rome, has begun the season strongly, scoring in United’s 5-0 victory over Wigan Athletic at the weekend.

“For me, losing in Rome was doubly frustrating because I wasn’t at the club when the team won in Moscow,” Berbatov told ManUtd.com. “I’ve never won the Champions League so losing to Barcelona was very upsetting. This year our aim is to make it all the way to Madrid. The Bernabeu is one of the best stadiums in the world and I know we’re good enough to make it back there and, this time, win it.”

The draw for the group stage of the Champions League is made tomorrow in Monaco, ahead of the annual European Supercup match in the principality. United cannot be drawn against another English side or any of the fellow seeds. This means that the club will not meet Chelsea, Liverpool or Arsenal (if the team beats Celtic tonight), or champions Barcelona in the first stage. If Arsenal makes the group stage then Spanish giants Real Madrid are likely to be in the second group, alongside Inter Milan.

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Lay off Berba

April 25, 2009 Tags: Shorts No comments

Does an – albeit dreadful – penalty miss really make a bad player? Dimitar Berbatov has always been a striker of the highest quality. True, he’s different. The Bulgarian doesn’t run around the pitch like a headless chicken; he’s always been a thinking man’s player. Moreover, the former Tottenham man has added composure and no little skill to United’s team this season. In a squad of Rooney, Ronaldo, Tevez (not to mention Macheda and Wellbeck) there’s no reason for Berbatov to start every match. But equally, United’s squad desperately needs a player of his ilk. Calls by fans and former managers for the player to be sold this summer are way short of the mark.