Tag Pat and Ji’s Good Morning Show

Tag Pat and Ji’s Good Morning Show

Pat and Ji’s Good Morning Show

May 1, 2010 Tags: Just for fun 1 comment

‘Elo everyone.

Today we bring you ze truly amazing truth behind ze internet rumours of ze famous footballer, ‘iz lover, ‘iz wife and ‘er lover.

Yes Pat, after the dishonourable actions of Telly and Blidge, we bling you more shame to the honourable world of Plemielship football.

Not since ze Brookside show has zis city, which we cannot mention for fear of being sued, witnessed such extra marital frolicking.

So to keep ze identity safe, and not to be sued again, we have given ze man in question ze fake name of Shteven J.

So readers, exclusively to ze Pat and Ji show, we bring you ze first ever interview wiz Shteven J’s lover. Bravo!

Pat: Elo, please tell us your side of zis amazing story.

Lover: Hiya! Well me and my dead famous fella are ‘avin a babeeee.

Ji: Conglatulations!

Lover: Ta luv. We met last year, after my 16th birthday, not a day before, and fell for each other big tiiime.

Pat: Err ok, so please tell us more on why zat is so special?

Lover: Oh I suppose cos he’s a married man, and a captain of his once famous football club. His wife’s dead cool about it though, oh and she’s got her own fella.

Pat: Sacre Bleu! Quel debauchery!

Because we are spoiling you today readers, we bring you another exclusive with Shteven’s wife’s lover, Mr Ram, whose name iz also concealed for legal reasons.

Ji: Haro Mr Ram.

Mr Ram: Arrrrriiiight Ji.

Ji: Yes thank you. Please tell us about your story.

Mr Ram: Well I started seeing Shteven’s wife about the same time his manager made a famous rant on the telly. Shit I shouldn’t have said that.

Ji: No probrem, no one will make the connection. So, was his wife angry because he was having an affair? Or was she just ronrey?

Mr Ram: I guess it was a bit both, and her trips to see me in the East Midlands gave her an escape from it all. Going to see her previous fella Adebayor was a long journey down to London, so hooking up with me in the Midlands suited her more.

Ji: So are you both in rove now?

Mr Ram: Nah she’s not into all that, which is probably why it works for all of us. Strangely, the only thing she truly loves is Everton Football club. The way she kept kept calling me big Dunk, I could tell she was a blue at heart.

And zere you ‘ave it readers, another incredible insight into ze crazy world of ze dodgy footballers, a world Mr Ferguson protects us all from here at United.

Join us next time when we chat to Diego Forlan about ze amazing ease in which he scores against certain clubs. We also do an MTV crib style viewing of Carlito Tevez’s new home in Madrid, and we give Mike Phelan a long overdue make over involving long trousers and a Magnum P.I. style moustache.

So until then, it’s Aurevoir from me and it’s Annyeong from him.

Goodbye.

Pat and Ji’s Good Morning Show

April 19, 2010 Tags: , , Just for fun 2 comments

‘Elo everyone, Pat ‘ere.

Like ze Richard and like ze Judy, Ji and I are proud to bring you our new show full of ze latest in Manchester United news, views and hot gossip. So good moaning everyone and welcome to our very first programme. Today, we take a look at ze worrying phenomenon of Dimitar Berbatov hating.

We investigate ze dark world of online football posting and teach you how to cook British/Asian fusion food with Ji’s special recipe for preparing deep fried sushi wiz gravy.

Paddy: Firstly, we ‘ave noticed a lot of angriness towards our friend Dimi. We do not like zis. I am a man of love making exceptionalness and I do not like ze negativity getting in ze way of free amour, especially not with my friends. You must all stop zis now.

Ji: Yes Pat, I aglee with you. In Korea, I am a symbol of love, not just football and whiskey, and I believe strongly that Dimi is a man that eberyone should be loving. Propaganda people out there must stop now and reave him arone.

Dimitar Berbatov United fans

Paddy: Now zat we have put an end to zis silly argument forever, let us move on to ze main part of ze show, our exclusive interview wiz an online chat addict about ‘iz obsession.

Pat: Hello Mr X

Mr X: Hello Pat and Ji

Pat: Most people use ze internet for ze naughty pictures and ze funny videos but for you it is much more zan zat, please tell us what ozer uses ze internet has?

Mr X: Well Pat, I spend most of my time on online football chat rooms. They are a place where you meet like minded people and disagree with them on everything. I try to leave comments everywhere I can, comments about comments, challenging all other people’s thoughts. It’s amazing how many disagreements I can rack up in a day. It’s full time work correcting people’s views, especially those ignorant journalists.

Ji: Wow, that is real flee speech, not like in North Korea.

Mr X: Yes Ji but some people out there do not think of it as a good thing. My counsellor for example, thinks I get too worked up and get into too much stress with idiots who do not agree with my thoughts!

Ji: You mean like in North Korea?

Mr X: Why oh why do these people continuously argue and deny the truth of my well researched opinions? I sometimes feel like I am the only one who truly understands what is really going on with United. It’s so frustrating…

Pat: Mr X, calm down, we do not like ze negativity on zis show.

Mr X: Oh sorry, I get worked up, it must be because of spending all this time in the parallel world of online football chat rooms and forums.

Ji: May I suggest you stop all this living through online world of football, and take up a more healthy traditional pastime, somesing like World of Warcraft for example.

World of Warcraft

Pat: Great advice Ji. Sadly that’s all we have time for today.

Join us next time when we chat to a fan of Manchester City about a common disease facing his people called trophy depravation syndrome. We will also have rare images of Antonio Valencia smiling during ze celebration of a goal and an exclusive sneak preview of our fabulous 2010 Green and Gold official strip, modelled by our very own Bryan Glazer.

So until then, it’s au revoir from me and it’s annyeong from him.

Goodbye.